What she said...

Kim Beazley was looking rather depressed yesterday, on ABC news, when he was filmed 'urging' the Prime Minister to follow the example of New Zealand's PM Helen Clark, in issuing a strong challenge to the government of Singapore over the imminent execution of Nguyen Tuong Van. Who can blame him for feeling miserable? How low must you have sunk, as Leader of the Opposition, to be urging the PM to follow the lead of...Helen Clark? It's not even a case of 'Do what I say', but 'Do what she does'. Clark, of course, as the nominal leader of a country of no geopolitical significance, is free to make bold gestures such as this. It's the same freedom that was enjoyed, in the ancient courts of Europe, by the Licensed Jester, who was at liberty to make impertinent and provocative comments in a way that more powerful, responsible individuals were not.

However, Kim looked much more cheerful addressing the State ALP conference in Western Australia. He was shown on ABC delivering one of the most bewilderingly awful attempts at political humour I've ever witnessed. It was like 'open mike' night at the comedy club from Hell. Kim was, at times, so breathless with nervous laughter that he could barely get out his carefully scripted one-liners, to be met by only the chirruping of a distant cricket. Some samples:

"We've got here Treasurer Costello, Australia's most arrogant bridesmaid,"

"Kevin Andrews, he's like Mr Bean only he's accident prone.

"Then you've got Brendan Nelson, an animated raccoon on nasty pills."

Even the ABC could smell blood: they were careful to end this segment with a shot from the back of the hall, showing an apparent sea of empty seats.